Doodah Diva

“Making the decision to have a child – It’s momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.”- Elizabeth Stone

I love quotes. I’m the type to find something I like, cut it out and hang it up on my bulletin board. But I’ve realized something – I don’t like quotes that don’t tell me what to do, or at least infer what to do.

I’ve always liked the one above. Even before I was a mom I got the heavy concept. And now that I am a mom? Woah.

But all it does is state the obvious: as a mom, what the hell have we gotten ourselves into? Now we have to worry every day about our damn heart walking around, getting into trouble, walking out into traffic, getting kidnapped, having mean kids pick on it or developing some sort of horrific infection? What do we do about that?

How about some ideas, people….

Last week, the day care hosted a Trike-a-Thon – a fundraiser to benefit St. Jude’s hospital. All week the class reviewed trike safety skills and then on Thursday they went to the park to practice what they learned. I even met the class at the park (a block from our house) to witness the event. Super sweet, right?

This was my first school-related “Oh, SHIT, I’m a bad mother” moments. I only skimmed the materials they sent home and assumed the school would have bikes for the kids to use. Since Miss J. did not have a tricycle anyway, we showed up for the Trike-a-thon empty handed.

Only J. and another little dude were trike-less. I’d apparently missed a major directive: bring your own trike to the Trike-a-Thon.

And, when all the kids were lined up on their respective two and three wheelers, J. says, “Where’s MY bike?”

Hello, bullet through the heart.

Luckily, the teachers anticipated slacker moms like me and had a couple of extras.

HOWEVER, “Get J. a tricycle” was first on our list of things to do on Friday. We surprised her with her new pink radio flyer and princess helmet Saturday morning and she loves it!

Note to self: read school instructions from now on. I’m sure there are plenty of other ways I can screw up my kids. Being prepared for school events is at least something I can control. Sigh.

Maybe I watch too much Law & Order and I.D. but the first thing that came to mind when Miss J. put Bear in her valise like this was, “Oh, what a horrible way for Bear to die – dismembered and stuffed in a suitcase.”

Of course, J. simply thinks of it as a much more convenient way to carry him around.

Miss J. is a hair twirler. It’s gotten progressively worse and I find myself cutting knots out of her hair a few times a week. The other day, she twirled her hair so tightly around her finger that her teacher said it was cutting off her circulation. She had to cut the hair off to get her finger free.

In an attempt to make hair twirling less satisfying and to make hair brushing less painful, we chopped off the hair. Now it’s in a little bob and she looks quite adorable. We’ll see if this works. It’s still twirl-able but I don’t think it will be quite as much fun and she can’t get into too much trouble if it’s shorter.

Miss J. has amassed quite the little posse. These guys accompany her around the house, sleep with her, stand guard during bath time and taste her meals before she eats.

The hierarchy of the organization shifts every few days and, depending upon who’s in favor that day, someone always gets to ride to day care with her and pick her up at the end of the day.

I think it’s important for you to know the players since they periodically appear in posts so here they are:

Miss J.’s right hand man – the Underboss – is currently “Ducky.”

Often competing with Ducky for the top spot, “Bear” may be pink, but he’s tough. Don’t underestimate him. Ducky never does.

Santa Claus, aka “See-Cause” is a fast-rising newcomer in the gang. Having just joined in mid-December, never before has an individual made such inroads into J’s trusted circle so quickly. There must be something special about this guy.

Bear and Duckie are very careful not to piss See-Cause off, for obvious reasons.

“Baby” provides hours of entertainment when the boss is bored. Baby’s clothes and binky come on and off and she often needs a diaper change.

Once secure in the favored spot, “Momo” has slipped down a few rungs in the crew. He’s still as loyal as ever in the hopes of proving his worth and devotion to Miss J.

No one knows why this handsome blanket is called “Monkey” but he is. Monkey often accompanies the Underboss on missions. Monkey is also the go-to guy in the crib or car.

A new addition to the inner crew, “JQ” has been a nursery regular for a while. We have our eye on her to see just what she’s learned by observing the crew all these months.

Another Duck. Ducks are good people. This one goes by “Tiny D.”

Like Momo, Alligator “Aggie” is a former top dog who has fallen out of favor. Aggie still hopes he can make his way back to the coveted spot.

Also a relative newcomer to the crew, this Bear is known as “Bear Head.” He sometimes assists Monkey in his blanket-y duties.

Apparently Beginner 1 was overwhelmed today so Miss J. spent the day in Toddler 1. They said it was because she’s the oldest in her class but I prefer to think it’s because she’s the most advanced.

Anyway, after her day in Toddler 1, she was sent home with the following “Uh-Oh” Report:

Child’s Name: Miss J.
Date: 10/8/09
Time: 11 a.m.

Check one:
Your child was bitten today X
Your child bit a friend today

Today your child: Was bitten on her left arm.

Situation: A friend who was sitting by Miss J. for lunch bit her arm.

Treatment: TLC

My favorite part of the “Uh-Oh” Reports is that they never reveal the identity of the children to the other family – neither the biter nor the bitee. This cracks me up. Like I’m going to show up on the doorstep of that family’s house and kick some two-year-old’s mom’s ass. Uh, okay. Maybe I thought about it. OKAY, NO, no I didn’t. I swear.

Despite the fact that my poor baby has a mark from a little teeny tiny row of teeth on her arm, they said it didn’t even phase her.

That mom is lucky.

After being sick with various afflictions, Miss J. is clearly feeling much better.

Today is National Play-Doh Day. Who knew? Miss J. is only one year (and two weeks!) old, so she’s not playing with Play-Doh….yet. Although I’m sure if I gave it to her, she’d have a blast. Eating it.

I’ve recently learned about alternatives to the Hasbro Play-Doh we all know and love from our childhood. I can even SMELL it as I write this. But, like most things these days, it’s laden with chemicals and preservatives. No offense to you, original Play-Doh. I have nothing but good memories about you.

But many of us are looking for greener options. For Play-doh, there is Miss Brittany’s Organic Preschool Fun Dough.

Miss Brittany is a preschool teacher in New York City. She was determined to find an alternative to the original Play-Doh that was environmentally friendly and safe for kids. Now, her line includes five colors of dough as well as various accessories. Everything is 100% organic, even down to the ink used on the packaging.

I requested a sample so I could feel it, smell it and play with it a little. It’s a little sticky at first but once you work with it a little bit that goes away. It has a very mild, salty smell and no, I did not eat it. Neither did Miss J.

In honor of National Play-Doh Day, Miss Brittany is offering a 20% discount – just enter code NPD09 when purchasing through the website.

So you get to try the dough….and save a little too. (Sorry, couldn’t resist!)

xo