I love quotes. I’m the type to find something I like, cut it out and hang it up on my bulletin board. But I’ve realized something – I don’t like quotes that don’t tell me what to do, or at least infer what to do.

I’ve always liked the one above. Even before I was a mom I got the heavy concept. And now that I am a mom? Woah.

But all it does is state the obvious: as a mom, what the hell have we gotten ourselves into? Now we have to worry every day about our damn heart walking around, getting into trouble, walking out into traffic, getting kidnapped, having mean kids pick on it or developing some sort of horrific infection? What do we do about that?

How about some ideas, people….

This was my first school-related “Oh, SHIT, I’m a bad mother” moments. I only skimmed the materials they sent home and assumed the school would have bikes for the kids to use. Since Miss J. did not have a tricycle anyway, we showed up for the Trike-a-thon empty handed.

Only J. and another little dude were trike-less. I’d apparently missed a major directive: bring your own trike to the Trike-a-Thon.

And, when all the kids were lined up on their respective two and three wheelers, J. says, “Where’s MY bike?”

Hello, bullet through the heart.

Luckily, the teachers anticipated slacker moms like me and had a couple of extras.

HOWEVER, “Get J. a tricycle” was first on our list of things to do on Friday. We surprised her with her new pink radio flyer and princess helmet Saturday morning and she loves it!

Note to self: read school instructions from now on. I’m sure there are plenty of other ways I can screw up my kids. Being prepared for school events is at least something I can control. Sigh.

Of course, J. simply thinks of it as a much more convenient way to carry him around.

I’m a work-at-home mom of a toddler and a newborn. This is my second “tour of duty” away from the corporate world. The first was for five years as a freelancer. I then returned to the 9-5 (really, 7:30-6!) to make sure I was still “sharp.” Thankfully, I was. I’m currently employing the same strategies I used back then to ensure I can still return to the workplace, in case I’m ready again.

A recent, widely-discussed Salon.com article revealed one woman’s regrets about the time she took off from the 9-5 life to raise her children. I don’t agree with her that “opting out” for a few years has to leave women high and dry in their careers. I believe moms who take time off can maintain their professional edge, using a few key strategies.

Create a Plan for Your Return
If you plan to return to your career, create a strategy for doing so now. Map out your next few years, be strategic about the professional relationships you nurture, plan for the job you want when you return and keep your skills and mind fresh. Even if you don’t ever think you’ll return, do yourself a favor and create a plan anyway. Circumstances can change, so never say never.

Be Realistic
If you’re a VP, and you take a few years off, your next job probably won’t be as an SVP. You will lose some traction while you’re gone so make sure you’re okay with that. But if you keep your professional self primed, your VP level position may still be appropriate and you can keep moving upwards once you’ve settled back into the workforce.

Keep Networking
Never stop working your professional network. This is the way to stay “in the know” about your industry. Have lunches. Refer business. Get other people hooked up with new jobs. Keep your network buzzing. People will remember that when you need their assistance getting a new job yourself.

Downplay the Fact You’re “At Home”
Even with professional colleagues who are also friends, keep your “at home” discussion in balance with the other things you talk about. Once it seems you’re out of the loop in business discussions, your professional credibility suffers.

Continue to Develop Your Skills
Write articles, keep a blog, start a networking group, mentor a group of students, or manage a charity event. Just do something that continues to build your expertise and authority in ways that can contribute to future opportunities. Experiences you create when you have more flexibility may be the very thing that lands you the next job.

It may seem daunting but by keeping an eye on your long-term plan, maintaining solid relationships and staying relevant, your eventual return to the workforce might be less of a challenge than you think!

In an attempt to make hair twirling less satisfying and to make hair brushing less painful, we chopped off the hair. Now it’s in a little bob and she looks quite adorable. We’ll see if this works. It’s still twirl-able but I don’t think it will be quite as much fun and she can’t get into too much trouble if it’s shorter.

The hierarchy of the organization shifts every few days and, depending upon who’s in favor that day, someone always gets to ride to day care with her and pick her up at the end of the day.

I think it’s important for you to know the players since they periodically appear in posts so here they are:

Miss J.’s right hand man – the Underboss – is currently “Ducky.”

Often competing with Ducky for the top spot, “Bear” may be pink, but he’s tough. Don’t underestimate him. Ducky never does.

Santa Claus, aka “See-Cause” is a fast-rising newcomer in the gang. Having just joined in mid-December, never before has an individual made such inroads into J’s trusted circle so quickly. There must be something special about this guy.

Bear and Duckie are very careful not to piss See-Cause off, for obvious reasons.

“Baby” provides hours of entertainment when the boss is bored. Baby’s clothes and binky come on and off and she often needs a diaper change.

Once secure in the favored spot, “Momo” has slipped down a few rungs in the crew. He’s still as loyal as ever in the hopes of proving his worth and devotion to Miss J.

No one knows why this handsome blanket is called “Monkey” but he is. Monkey often accompanies the Underboss on missions. Monkey is also the go-to guy in the crib or car.

A new addition to the inner crew, “JQ” has been a nursery regular for a while. We have our eye on her to see just what she’s learned by observing the crew all these months.

Another Duck. Ducks are good people. This one goes by “Tiny D.”

Like Momo, Alligator “Aggie” is a former top dog who has fallen out of favor. Aggie still hopes he can make his way back to the coveted spot.

Also a relative newcomer to the crew, this Bear is known as “Bear Head.” He sometimes assists Monkey in his blanket-y duties.

If we are unsuccessful in getting by the display without her noticing, she demands a bag. Even if I whip out a bag of Goldfish we brought from home, she still insists on a new one. Which she then opens on the spot.

As a result, we have numerous bags of Goldfish at any given time in our pantry. In fact, the other day I discovered we had FIVE opened bags, in FIVE different flavors.

Unfortunately, Miss J. was standing right next to me when I discovered this. Once she realized the array of choices she had at her fingertips, she’s started to tote around several bags at a time instead of just one. Here we have Cheddar Explosion, Ranch and Sour Cream and Onion.

Seriously, why does there need to be 100 flavors of Goldfish crackers? What was wrong with the good old fashioned original Cheddar?

I wish they had Goldfish crackers infused with broccoli. Then I would be impressed.

Of course, restaurant dressings are usually pretty good. Why is that? Probably because they are loaded with fat and calories. Sigh.

Anyway, I’m always on the quest for delicious, relatively low-fat dressings. Enter Naturally Fresh Lite Ranch. OMG this stuff is amazing. It tastes like the full fat restaurant variety and only sports 8 grams of fat per serving. Not so bad, really. And it’s delish.

I’m not the only one who loves it. Check out this video of Miss J. enjoying her Natty Fresh. Apologies in advance if this grosses you out. Maybe it’s because I’m her mom but I think it’s pretty damn funny.

Thanks, Naturally Fresh!

Oh, and PS: this is not a product review. It’s an unsolicited, 100% Doodah Favorites post.